We want love to be easy — but often it’s not.

And that’s because it’s not supposed to be.

In a new Consciousness Engineering course, The Love Medicine, trainer and transformational entertainer Daniel Packard explains in the full talk that “love is a gift from the universe for getting your act together.”

Love is the powerful motivator we need to find the courage to become our best selves.

We elevate ourselves and our choices when we stop trying to protect ourselves against rejection. In return, we’re able to attract the love we desire.

But when we make our love choices out of fear (like dating someone who is “safe” or defensively attacking someone for not liking us), we create a vicious cycle: we believe we’re not enough so we push love away, but when we don’t receive the love we desire, it feeds into the belief that we’re not enough.

As Daniel says, there’s a “double karmic cost.”

So how do we break this cycle? How do we stop pushing away love?

First, we need to be able to pinpoint when we’re making choices out of fear. Here’s a diagram showing the 6 choices and strategies that push away love:

protect-against-rejection

Listen to the short soundbite to hear Daniel explain these choices and strategies in further detail. There’s a transcript below for you to follow along.

And then, we need to understand that even if we’re afraid, we don’t need to act from fear and push away love.

You always have the option to act courageously.

For every choice that leaves us closed off to love, there’s an opposing action that frees us from that vicious cycle.

  • Instead of avoiding, do what you’re afraid of
  • Instead of attacking, be compassionate with yourself and others
  • Instead of seeking validation, be honest to yourself
  • Instead of controlling the situation, be spontaneous
  • Instead of guarding yourself off, be vulnerable
  • Instead of stalling, choose to live in the moment

In this course, you’ll learn how to attract the love you desire by understanding and transforming fearful choices into courageous choices.

If you want to learn more about other rules extraordinary people use in their daily lives, tune into Consciousness Engineering, Mindvalley Academy’s leading transformational program with Vishen Lakhiani. Now yours to try for just $1.

consciousness engineering with Vishen Lakhiani

Click here to try Consciousness Engineering for just $1 >>

The Love Medicine Transcript:

Daniel: So at the top is avoiding, and avoiding is just what you think. You don’t even go near the thing. You’re just too afraid. You’re just sitting, you see someone that’s attractive, don’t even go near them. Just won’t even bother.

Attacking is basically, you feel threatened and so you go after the thing. You feel hurt, and so you attack the thing to make them wrong to get the thing away from you.

For instance, somebody didn’t call you when you wanted to be called. Well, now they’re an a-hole, they’re a bitch, they’re a this. It’s calling people names, but really you’re just really scared underneath. They’ve triggered your not enough-ness.

Also, we judge ourselves. “Why did they not call you?” “I’m fat. I’m stupid. I’m an idiot. I’m bad. I’m wrong.” So we either attack others, or we attack ourselves.

Vishen: Okay. Is that number three or number two, attacking our-…

Daniel: That’s number two.

Vishen: Okay.

Daniel: Number three is validation, and this is where we feel not enough to be loved and so we go to the outside world to tell us that we’re loved.

This is people liking us, telling us “good job,” making lots of money, being pretty. Anytime you’re getting the outside world to affirm you and make you feel more valuable, that’s validation.

The fourth one is control which is, I’m afraid. I don’t want to just jump into life and go after things. I’m too scared. So I’m going to control things. I want to know what’s going to happen. What’s the outcome? Where is it going to go? So human beings by nature, when we’re afraid we go into control mode.

Number five is when we’re guarded. You’re just afraid to get your heart hurt, so you’re protected. You have your walls up. You’re guarded. You feel that if you connect with someone, they can now hurt you. So you just don’t allow that connection to happen, and you’re guarded.

Then, the final one is overthinking. I know anyone listening to this knows what I’m talking about. You’re too afraid to act, and you don’t want to admit you’re afraid. So you create some elaborate scenario that you have to think about.

We think and we think, and we think, and I will tell anyone listening that all thinking is overthinking. Because when it comes to the heart, there’s nothing to know. Your heart knows everything. Love is simple. Be open and honest, and pray. If you’re thinking about it, you’re afraid.

Vishen: I see. I see. As you’re saying this, I’m recognizing several situations in my life when I’ve applied one of those tactics.

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